Chapter 1: Return to Wonderland
"It's impossible, Alice."
The words rang painfully through her head. Always the same phrase, always in the same disgruntled voice. Her father's disappointed and agitated tone. Alice put her head in her lap and covered herself with her hands.
Impossible. Alice didn't believe in the word. Nothing was impossible.
The steel door to her gloomy, achromatic prison opened and a scrawny, bird-like nurse with black olive eyes and a stern stare down her prominent beak entered.
"It's time, Alice," she said. "Time for your treatment. You want to get better, don't you?"
For months, Alice had been living in the Rockhill Sanatorium receiving numerous tortures disguised as treatments for her "delusions" of Wonderland. Delusions that Alice knew were not really delusions at all.
Alice was only nine years old when she first visited the magical realm after following the White Rabbit down his rabbit hole. She returned home months later with stories of grand adventures and silly friends she had made - particularly the Mad Hatter. Her father dismissed her tales as the imagination of a traumatized child who had been through an ordeal. He assumed she had run off or been abducted in her time away, and had asked her many questions about where she had been and what had happened to her. Yet, every time he asked a question, she replied with an "impossible" story and he eventually gave up on any further inquiries.
Ten years later, shortly after Alice turned nineteen, she visited Wonderland again. Her mother had just passed and her father was desperately trying to marry her off to a suitor within a truly boring collection of lords who had financial benefits to offer him. Frustrated that her objections to this endeavor were ignored, Alice ran to the woods behind their manor house. It was there she saw White Rabbit again. He told her that Wonderland and all her friends were in danger. A vile woman who claimed the eastern lands of the realm named herself the Queen of Hearts and was trying to take over the western lands ruled by the White King and Queen. Determined to help, Alice asked the White Rabbit to make another rabbit hole for her to return to Wonderland.
This time, however, White Rabbit couldn't get her to Wonderland that way. Alice had grown far too much. She couldn't fit into the rabbit hole the way she could when she was a child. So, the rabbit enchanted a full-size standing mirror in the greenhouse out back. Alice touched a hand to the glass and saw it ripple fluidly around her hand like lake water that was quietly disturbed. Alice understood. With an expression of delightful surprise, Alice stepped through the glass as though walking through a doorway.
It was this second visit to the wonderful, mystical world of Wonderland that would change everything.
***
"Over there, Alice," the doctor instructed in his sandpaper-scratched voice. "On the table, there. Just like last time."
Like every time, she thought grimly.
The table at the center of the drab, colorless room was a metal slab Alice was meant to lay on as the doctor administered his "treatment." Dr. Nefarius was gray-faced, bald and spindly, and reeked of onion even before his lunchtime sandwich. His white lab coat the only striking item in the room among its cement-colored walls. It knew too much about what went on there; All color and joy sucked out of it. Even the art that adorned the torture chamber was in grayscale.
Alice laid on the table, the frigid metal stinging any exposed skin on her arms and the back of her neck. She wore a thin off-white nightdress that covered her from chest to ankles, but didn't have sleeves. The hairs on her arms stood up, alert.
Dr. Nefarius rolled the horrid machine closer to her, stopping next to her head. As he stood over her, he smiled and said, "No fighting, Alice. This is going to help you."
The doctor attached two wires to either side of her forehead, sticking them onto her with two circular patches adhered to her skin. He roughly patted the patches to ensure they wouldn't fall off during the procedure. His beefy hands gave Alice a headache.
"We're about to begin."
The doctor grabbed the clipboard that sat atop the machine and clicked his pen. Alice took a deep breathe in and closed her eyes, bracing herself.
The first shock was tenuous, always the easiest to take.
“Do you still believe you had these so-called adventures?” he asked and hovered his pen above the clipboard, readying himself to take notes based on her answers.
Behind her closed eyelids, Alice saw the large plump caterpillar with glasses that shaded his eyes from the glorious sun in Wonderland and a red fez that topped his head. With her next deep inhale, she imagined Caterpillar sucking in a great gust of smoke from his bulbous hookah. Once, he had blown the smoke into her face and a whiff of it went into her mouth. She still remembered the foggy, bitter taste of it.
She opened her eyes to answer. "No,” she replied, knowing exactly what the doctor wanted to hear. Also knowing it wouldn’t do any good. She would be right back there the next day.
A matted tendril of honey-blonde hair tickled her cheek and the side of her nose. She blew at it to move her hair away from her face.
The next shock was harsher. Alice could feel it start at the base of her spine, then fan out to her entire body through her nerves like a cruel electric railway system.
"You don't truly believe that cats or mice can talk, do you?"
Alice's friend, the Chesire cat, immediately came to mind. He could not only talk, but could - and would, often - disappear and reappear in mid-conversation. During her last visit, when she was being chased by the Queen of Hearts' knights, he helped her hide from them. He gave her a potion made from one of Wonderland's magical plants that makes the drinker shrink. With one gulp, she shrunk down to the size of chess piece.
"No," she replied.
The doctor turned the dial on the machine two notches further to the right. The next shock wave that went through Alice sped up her heart rate violently. Her heart felt like it wanted to explode from her chest. Her body rocked ferociously.
To keep from screaming, Alice thought of Rosaline. The daughter of the White King and Queen, with brilliant scarlet hair and thoughtful hazel eyes. Alice met her during her last visit to Wonderland, when she trained for the war against the Queen of Hearts. It was Rosaline who motivated her to beat the jabberwocky. Alice couldn't let the beast hurt her.
Rosaline was fierce, much more brave than even Alice was. She was intelligent and kind and incredibly short-tempered. Impatience was her downfall. Alice missed her terribly.
"Last one, Alice."
Alice inhaled deeply. She held her breathe. Exhaled slowly.
The final shock momentarily paralyzed her. She felt it everywhere, even in her jawbone.
This time she couldn't hold back a scream. Her shrieks of pain were ripped from her, the electric assault pulling out of her every memory, every emotion she held inside.
The Mad Hatter, her best friend in any realm, who didn't trust anyone reasonable. His lilac hair hidden underneath his top hat was as wild and crazed as he was.
The White Queen who reminded her of her mother and showed her a love and gentleness that she hadn't received since her mother died.
The lazy Dormouse who hated a to-do list, but was constantly given orders by the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. He told Alice fondly that she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to when she feared going up against the Queen of Hearts. Dorrie never judged.
"There's no Wonderland, is there, Alice?" he asked maniacally. "It's simply impossible."
"Impossible," Alice said in a strained voice, fighting against the pain.
The doctor smiled blandly. "Very good, Alice."
He turned the dial all the way to the left. Alice sunk back into the table, releasing the tension in her every muscle.
Dr. Nefarius removed the wires and strung them up, looping them around and around the hook on the side of the machine. "You did very well."
Alice didn't care. It didn't matter, none of this did. She would never escape this prison and she would never believe that everything that happened in Wonderland was impossible.
***
Every day after lunch, the patients of Rockhill were allowed one hour of recreation. Half of the prisoners recessed outdoors to do drills, the other half relaxed in the sunroom overlooking the outdoor recreation. It wasn't a kind gesture; It was a reminder, a threat. Even though the recreational schedule alternated days, the nursing staff was always in control. Either you were participating in the drills, or you were haunted by the threat of drills happening the next day. It was effective; it kept the prisoners compliant.
Alice was in the sunroom that day, sitting in a rocking chair by the window, witnessing the hell of the hustle from the outdoor patients.
Behind her, patients whined, whirled around, cried out. A few were sitting beside her, in matching rocking chairs all neatly placed 2 feet, 6 inches apart. They too were looking out the window, almost catatonically.
This is it, thought Alice. This is the rest of my life.
Her father would never allow her back home, not to embarrass him and his new bride. She would never be able to return to Wonderland. How could she? No, there was no hope for Alice. No future beyond those grim walls.
The despair became too much. The world around her got darker, the light fading from her vision. She collapsed, falling sideways out of the chair.
As soon as her head hit the hard, tile floor, she felt the brick-like hands of the nearby orderly grip both her arms and lift her up. Her vision spun as she was ushered back to her room - or rather, her cell.
He set her down onto the flat, oil-stained mattress and swiftly slammed the door closed behind him. In a single moment, the lock shifted into place. With a resigned sigh, Alice leaned back onto the wall.
She wasn't sure how long she'd been staring at nothing when she heard two distinct voices arguing softly on the other side of the door. As the argument continued, the voices became clearer. They were getting closer.
"No no, that's not her," the first voice whispered.
"Oh, hello, terribly sorry," the second voice stammered.
"Maybe this one."
Alice recognized that voice. She'd know it anywhere.
But no, thought Alice. It couldn't be.
"Impossible," she said out loud.
The slat in her door opened with a rapid zip and there, with unmistakable cerulean eyes, peeked the Mad Hatter. "Now Alice, you know better than anyone else, nothing is impossible."
Alice's bow-tie lips that had been downturned in an ugly frown for months split into a wide grin. "Hatter!"
She could barely contain her joy. She leapt off the bed and ran to the door.
"How did you find me?"
"No time for that," came the second voice from down below.
Alice peered through the slat to see White Rabbit. "Rabbit! You've come back for me."
"We both have," said Mad Hatter, gripping his lapels proudly.
"If we can find a way to open this metal monstrosity," said White Rabbit.
"The nurses have a key." Alice looked to the Mad Hatter as she explained. She knew his skills in banditry and his lack of moral boundaries against stealing when necessary.
Hatter nodded seriously. "I'll find a nurse."
He walked away and White Rabbit lifted onto his hind legs. "Are you all right, Alice?"
Alice was touched by his concern. "Fine, Rabbit. How is everyone in Wonderland? Is the Knave keeping out of trouble? Has Rosaline asked after me?" Alice had so many questions, she didn't know where to stop.
White Rabbit fidgeted his hands with worry. "I don't know where to begin, Alice."
Alice's brows knit together. "Rabbit, what's wrong?"
"Got them!" Hatter exclaimed as he sauntered back into the hallway. He jingled the thick ring of keys in front of him. With a wicked grin, he tried the first key. It didn't fit.
It took several tries, but finally, they managed to find the right one.
"It's about time," grumbled Rabbit. "We're late as it is."
Alice rolled her eyes. "You always think you're late."
Once Hatter opened the door, Alice dove into his arms. He embraced her warmly, but tightly.
"Hatter," she said. "Can't. Breathe."
He released her with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, love."
He reached up to tuck a piece of matted hair behind her ear.
"I'm not doing nearly as badly as I look," she reassured him.
He didn't look like he believed her, but he didn't say anything to the contrary.
"We need to go, Alice," White Rabbit protested.
"Right," she said. "This way."
The three walked down the hall toward the stairs. The nearest exit was on the second floor, the ground level. The prisoners all slept in the basement.
"What's happened?" Alice asked.
They all took the stairs two at a time, in a terrible rush.
"You told her already?" Hatter asked Rabbit.
"He hasn't told me anything," Alice said. "I just assumed, if you're here it means something is wrong in Wonderland. You wouldn't risk a portal trip if it wasn't."
"Quite right," Hatter confirmed. "My brilliant Alice."
"So, what's wrong?" They didn't have time for Hatter's flattery.
"The Red Queen has killed the White King and Queen, taken over the western lands, and taken the princess who knows where!" replied Rabbit.
They reached the second floor, but Alice stopped at the door to the common area.
"The Red Queen?" she asked.
"The Queen of Hearts," Mad Hatter explained. "She changed her name after you took her hands and burned her hearts. She no longer has a collection of hearts, nor can she add any more to it."
The Queen of Hearts. Rosaline had helped Alice break into the Queen of Hearts' mausoleum of victims, where the queen kept their hearts in hefty wooden trinket chests. That was how she earned the moniker. After she killed someone, she ripped their heart out and added it to her sick collection of trophies. They burned the vault to the ground and, during the war when they fought the queen, Alice cut off her hands. She thought it was over, that she had defeated the malevolent queen. Clearly, she'd been wrong.
"And she has Rosaline?" Alice panicked.
Hatter and Rabbit nodded, unable to say the words again.
Alice straightened her back. "Well then, we'll just have to get her back."
She thrust open the door, the light from the common area a sharp contrast to the darkness and dankness of the basement. "And this time, I won't stop at only cutting off the queen's hands."
Within moments, five orderlies were on Alice and the Hatter. But, they were no match for the heroes. Alice took one out immediately, then took on two of the taller, thinner men. Hatter took the other two bulky orderlies that looked in desperate need of a long night's rest. They each had horrible dark circles under their eyes and furrowed, angry brows.
With a swift crack, Alice broke the orderly's arm and took her last man down. Hatter had already dispatched his and was leaning casually against the wall, straightening his lapels. "You've lost your touch, Alice," he joked. "It used to be you who finished first."
"If you two are done," barked the White Rabbit. "We really should be going."
The three hustled out the door and into the fresh air. Alice took a deep breathe, enjoying every moment.
"It's different, you know."
"What is?" Hatter asked.
"The air," she replied. "The air is different when you're free."
Hatter tried, but failed, to keep the smile off his face. "I missed you, Alice."
"This way, you two," Rabbit called from around the corner. He had already darted toward the gardens on the east side of the asylum building.
"Where are we going?" Alice asked.
"The way rabbit and I came," explained Hatter. "There's a looking glass in the gardens."
Hatter was right. They had gone a little further into the gardens when they came to an archway. Within the arch stood a large, elegant mirror. Alice tentatively stepped toward it.
"It's really happening," she said. "I'm going back to Wonderland."
She regretted ever thinking it was impossible. When it came to Wonderland, nothing was impossible.
"Over that way!" They heard distant yelling from the direction they just came.
"I think the guards have found us," Hatter said.
"Orderlies," Alice corrected.
"I'm not much for following order."
"Now, you two!" cried White Rabbit.
Hatter brushed past her and quickly walked through the glass portal. Rabbit waved Alice on and followed Hatter.
She heard the rustling of branches and the shifting of feet through grass before someone yelled out, "Here! She's here!"
Alice smirked at the dark-haired orderly with his pristinely white uniform and gave him a small wave. "Farewell. I have not enjoyed my stay."
She turned and stepped through the looking glass.
As her feet hit solid ground on the other side, she heard the gentle snapping sound that indicated the portal had closed behind her. She looked up satisfactorily to meet the kind eyes of the Mad Hatter.
Hatter opened his arms wide and split his enormous mouth into a gigantic grin. "Welcome back, Alice," he said. "Welcome back to Wonderland."
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